the subway is a porno.

if you have time, visit. it's worth it.

 

click

it's really worth it. i miss these strangers.

oh, by the way.

 

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after that intense planning session i think things are reallu starting to slow down. the last few weeks has been intense to say the least. i hope that caps it up.

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i opened the video for escape me by tiesto ft. cc shefield today. now i remember why i should hate people.

ofcourse, cardinal rule -- do not read the comments on videos on youtube unless your looking for a headache or a reason to barf.

it was quite sad actually. people were rating tiesto against guetta against van buuren. sad.

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i need to run.

i'm getting pretty stable. thanks.

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chuck palaniuk's Diary = INSANE.

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i'm sick again.

 

alot has happened. i'm studying. i'd like to say that i'm keeping myself busy to get my mind off things but that's not true.

i'm keeping myself busy because i feel that what i am doing is important. this is my adventure. i'm climbing up this ladder and it's getting steeper. as i get higher, it gets lonlier.

this is my adventure.

1. A patient is 40 kgs and Dopamine 15mcg/kg/min needs to be administered. The stock available is 400 mg/250 ml. How much is the concentration?

 

i do think that i'm a manic depressive. it hits me at really random times. i don't even know what i'm doing. i mean really random. sometimes there's a trigger. sometimes it just happens.

i guess i really just feel alone. really alone. when people around you are so different from you. really different. and you can know it. they look at you differently. and i try to be like everyone else, but it gets lonelier that way. i see people and they are amazed by me. sometimes they hate me. sometimes they like me. most of the time they just laugh at the fact.

why am i bothered by all this. i knew this since i was... i can't recall. but it's been there like this balloon tied to my wrist, advertising 'hello there, i don't think like you'. i don't think like you.

i wish that i just stop. just like that. cold turkey on sadness. wow. a pill like that will make you divine these days.

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sometimes you just have to wonder, why is that? why do i feel so different? why do i feel so alone?

do i really have that big of an ego to think that i'm better than everyone else? or i really just don't care?

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i wish i could have told you what you're going into. i wish i can save you. i tried. i'm sorry.

i wish i can change the way you look at me. this will be a really hard stretch for you, that's about as much as i can say for now.